Random Thought

I felt like i should be blogging right now. But i really dont want to. Maybe cause I’ve been  lazy and really stressed out. Under all that stress, there are some good moments i guess. I wrote something about 5 minutes ago. And this may sound odd, but im motivated from my own words of wisdom. Sometimes, I dont know the right from the wrong. But i do know the wrong from the right. I lead myself to do what I think is right, not what others think are right. I take others’ opinions way too seriously. Yet despite all those reasons, I cant deny that what I hear from others, are usually, most of the time, right. Now, I have to teach myself that. Sometimes hearing what you dont like to hear, helps you do better.

Valentine's Day

It's Valentines Day tomorrow, and it's whatever to me. I don't believe in Valentines. And i dont know why i dont. I dont even consider it a holiday. Cause not everyone has somebody to celebrate it with, and if you do, well its gonna hurt remembering what happend on that day when u and your partner were still together. ya feel me?

I had quite an adventurous week so far. And maybe one of the most shocking weeks too. But other than that, i've been happy. A lot happier than usual. That's a good thing right? This is gonna be a short one. Cause Im really lazy to continue typing. Let's hope magic happens tomorrow.. 

SUPERBOWLLL!

i decided to watch the superbowl today for the first time. I dont get it -_- Had rob and howie explain through text. haha watched 3 hours into it and now i give up. its hella boring. and its going nowhere. hmph.

I found this on Tumblr. Its so deep:

girls need to realize this .

we guys don’t care if you talk to other guys .

we don’t care if you’re friends with other guys .

but when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off .

it doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there .

we don’t care if a guy calls or texts you .

but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned .

nothing is that important at 2am .

also, when we tell you you’re pretty / beautiful/ gorgeous / cute / stunning, we freaking mean it .

don’t tell us we’re wrong .

we’ll stop trying to convince you .

the sexiest thing about a girl is confidence .

yeah, you can quote me .

don’t be mad when we hold the door open .

take advantage of the mood im in .

let us pay for you!

don’t ‘feel bad’

we enjoy doing it .

it’s expected .

smile and say ‘thank you’ .

kiss us when no one’s watching .

if you kiss us when you know somebody’s looking, we’ll be more impressed .

you don’t have to get dressed up for us .

if we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to

wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own .

we like you for who you are and not what you are .

honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she’s just in her pj’s .

or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up .

don’t take everything we say seriously .

sarcasm is a beautiful thing. see the beauty in it .

don’t get angry easily.

stop using magazines/media as your bible.

don’t talk about how hot chris brown, brad pitt, or jesse mccartney is in front of us

it’s boring, and we don’t care. you have girlfriends for that .

whatever happened to the word ‘handsome’/’beautiful’

i’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me

with ‘hey handsome!’ instead of ‘hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy’ or whatever else you can think of .

on the other hand im not sayin’ i woulndnt like it ether ;)

girls, i cannot stress this enough: if you aren’t being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!!!!

ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population & find someone who will treat you with utter respect .

someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowest .

someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes .

someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel .

someone who will stop what they’re doing just to look you in the eyes ….and say ‘i love you’ ..and actually mean it.

give the nice guys a chance.

nice guys always finish last. or not? haha but that ^ was like wow. made me overthink the stuff I do sometimes. -_- 

2/1/11

Things have been really rough for me lately. It's hard to figure out what's been really bothering me. I wish I knew more, that way, I wouldn't have to be so naive all the time and make stupid mistakes that always get in the way. School's been a pain-it still is. But it's getting a lot better. I was talking to my counselor about what's been going on, why my grades have been slipping. I gave her the excuse that I've been lazy, and that I haven't been caring much about it. But that was more than a white lie I made not only to her but to myself. I DO know why its been slipping, I just don't want to bring myself to admit that and know that I let one little stupid reason keep me from living my life the way it should be lived. Though there's really no "way" of living life right, I give myself standards that I can't achieve to doing.

Some people say it's just high school, or that I'm going through that phase and that I'll get over it in a bit. But I know its not. That one little thing, well to be honest, It's bothering me. And its not just one of those little things that can heal with time. Or is it? Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Maybe I want to suffer a bit just to make myself stronger. But why go through that? Im always hiding what I feel when people are around. And when no ones around, I just sit there and think. And at times, I cry myself to sleep. Letting it out feels good, but only for a little while. That feeling always comes back whether I like it or not.

Drumline Auditions?

I was gonna blog about this 2 days ago, but I got uber lazy..
Well, here comes the descriptive part of Wednesday.

I walk into the band room, totally forgot about having auditions that day. Chatted, played around with the drums and stuff, took forever finding matching drumsticks.. Cruz and Ray went to the back practice and started doing the auditions. One by one, they called people in. Everytime someone came out, I tried to read their facial expressions. I still didn't know what I wanted to try out for. cept either Bass or Snare. Though I secretly wanted snare. haha. Never laid hands on a drum before..

My name got called, so I went in, was a bit nervous. But then Cruz and Ray started being themselfs so it was fine after. They told me to read the whole first page, and Ray gave me a very retarded beat. ( retarded meaning slow XD ) and I started off going really slow. Then I didnt like it, so I speeded up hella fast and went through the first 3 without mistakes. Then number 4 came and i stumbled on the rests. Gosh I hate rests. And continued on til I was done.

Picked up the bass. Put it on me. Kinda tilted forward. Its not as heavy as the sousaphone is, so I was fine. Read the Bass music. It was alright. Easy.

Then they asked me what I was going for. I said I didn't know and didn't really mind. Just not the pit. So I was trying for the marching part.

Next day, I walked into 1st period and Jay told me the list was up. So he looked for me and was like, You got snare..and im like wat? haha i thought he was kidding. Then I looked and yeup, third snare. wat the heck? hah yay.

Messed up poorly today at practice. Gotta get used to holding sticks right...

got the sniffles..

I just woke up from a nap. Im nervous about my report card coming. haha... even though I already know my grades. Not so good. I failed my geometry finals. and practically every other final there was cept P.E. Im working on it, I hate knowing that Im dissappointing people around me. Actually I hope Im not doing that.. but im disappointing my parents and most of all, Im disappointing myself. I dont like that. I know Im capable of doing better, and thats what Im gonna do.

Change is good. I should change my habits. Dont want to say my habits are bad or anything, but they do kinda suck. Midnight cravings...yea thats one thats gotta go.

Im so tired all the time. I cant concentrate or think straight. It makes me crabby. And lately, a lot of stuff has been going on. At times, I dont know how to deal with it cause when I do, It backfires on me. Its like Karma all over again.

Its also New Years. well uh 9 days over.. Someone asked me what my new year's resolution is for 2011. I thought about it, and well I didnt really know. Of course I had those mini resolutions like save money, or get better grades. But then i realized that all my resolutions has been the same for years. But I think all I want is for people around me to be happy, to know that Im trying my hardest at my worst, and to those close friends that are constantly worried for me, I hope they know that I'll be fine sooner or later. Fixing up my problems alone is hard, but it makes me 10x's stronger. I need that motivation to keep my going.

Im so thankful for the friends I made in the past, and most of all, the huge chunk of friends Ive made recently. They just make me smile :) and I love each and every one of their stupid, idiotic, dumbass selfs :D

Just realized how cheesy i sounded there ^...Oh well. I like cheesy things.

I can swim (kinda, but better than before) now!!!!

Iron Chef with Randy, Rob, and Cruz. We're so gonna win it!

Happy New Year. Hello 2011!

Havent blogged in awhile. 

On thursday, I hungout with Rawan, Jay, and Eleanor :) I love them. haha had lotsa fun. Watched Little Fockers, Shopped, Photobooth thingy, hurricane thingy, Hooters! Probably had the most fun there. 

Friday, New Years Eve, I had to work, but after work i attended the wedding. Pretty damn boring. But the live Jazz band was so good. I was sitting next to their table too! (cause is sat at the worker tables) Got froyo in the middle of it, When the countdown came, The guy did it 2 minutes before everything. LOL i was about to run up there and scream at him, BUT i didnt want to ruin the fun, so i had my own little countdown. Got home at 2:30-3 ish in the morning. Was so exhausted.

Today, Im at this family party. Um not what I expected. Being around old people and little kids. ugh i hate kids.. no offense.

the cake was so good tho...

My new years resolution is to get better grades starting this next semester. Too much slacking... Gonna start doing better early while im still a freshmen. haha. Nothing special went on. Pretty boring..bye!