Valentine's Day

It's Valentines Day tomorrow, and it's whatever to me. I don't believe in Valentines. And i dont know why i dont. I dont even consider it a holiday. Cause not everyone has somebody to celebrate it with, and if you do, well its gonna hurt remembering what happend on that day when u and your partner were still together. ya feel me?

I had quite an adventurous week so far. And maybe one of the most shocking weeks too. But other than that, i've been happy. A lot happier than usual. That's a good thing right? This is gonna be a short one. Cause Im really lazy to continue typing. Let's hope magic happens tomorrow.. 

SUPERBOWLLL!

i decided to watch the superbowl today for the first time. I dont get it -_- Had rob and howie explain through text. haha watched 3 hours into it and now i give up. its hella boring. and its going nowhere. hmph.

I found this on Tumblr. Its so deep:

girls need to realize this .

we guys don’t care if you talk to other guys .

we don’t care if you’re friends with other guys .

but when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off .

it doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there .

we don’t care if a guy calls or texts you .

but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned .

nothing is that important at 2am .

also, when we tell you you’re pretty / beautiful/ gorgeous / cute / stunning, we freaking mean it .

don’t tell us we’re wrong .

we’ll stop trying to convince you .

the sexiest thing about a girl is confidence .

yeah, you can quote me .

don’t be mad when we hold the door open .

take advantage of the mood im in .

let us pay for you!

don’t ‘feel bad’

we enjoy doing it .

it’s expected .

smile and say ‘thank you’ .

kiss us when no one’s watching .

if you kiss us when you know somebody’s looking, we’ll be more impressed .

you don’t have to get dressed up for us .

if we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to

wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own .

we like you for who you are and not what you are .

honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she’s just in her pj’s .

or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up .

don’t take everything we say seriously .

sarcasm is a beautiful thing. see the beauty in it .

don’t get angry easily.

stop using magazines/media as your bible.

don’t talk about how hot chris brown, brad pitt, or jesse mccartney is in front of us

it’s boring, and we don’t care. you have girlfriends for that .

whatever happened to the word ‘handsome’/’beautiful’

i’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me

with ‘hey handsome!’ instead of ‘hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy’ or whatever else you can think of .

on the other hand im not sayin’ i woulndnt like it ether ;)

girls, i cannot stress this enough: if you aren’t being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!!!!

ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population & find someone who will treat you with utter respect .

someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowest .

someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes .

someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel .

someone who will stop what they’re doing just to look you in the eyes ….and say ‘i love you’ ..and actually mean it.

give the nice guys a chance.

nice guys always finish last. or not? haha but that ^ was like wow. made me overthink the stuff I do sometimes. -_- 

2/1/11

Things have been really rough for me lately. It's hard to figure out what's been really bothering me. I wish I knew more, that way, I wouldn't have to be so naive all the time and make stupid mistakes that always get in the way. School's been a pain-it still is. But it's getting a lot better. I was talking to my counselor about what's been going on, why my grades have been slipping. I gave her the excuse that I've been lazy, and that I haven't been caring much about it. But that was more than a white lie I made not only to her but to myself. I DO know why its been slipping, I just don't want to bring myself to admit that and know that I let one little stupid reason keep me from living my life the way it should be lived. Though there's really no "way" of living life right, I give myself standards that I can't achieve to doing.

Some people say it's just high school, or that I'm going through that phase and that I'll get over it in a bit. But I know its not. That one little thing, well to be honest, It's bothering me. And its not just one of those little things that can heal with time. Or is it? Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. Maybe I want to suffer a bit just to make myself stronger. But why go through that? Im always hiding what I feel when people are around. And when no ones around, I just sit there and think. And at times, I cry myself to sleep. Letting it out feels good, but only for a little while. That feeling always comes back whether I like it or not.